Stress

I realize that there are countless resources written on stress management, the effects of stress, and other topics stress related. I can't compete with that. I wouldn't want to. I just want to share my own recent observations.
When I think of stress in nature, I think of trees. When I was a teen, I used to go to the Oregon Coast with my family. I was constantly in wonder at the strange shapes that the trees would take in response to the constant pressure of the wind. In reality, we aren't much different than these trees.
Life is stressful. We all have stress. If you are someone with autoimmune disease, then chances are it is or has been a big part of your life. Stress is something that is very personal that affects us to our very core. It has the ability to shape our thoughts and results. It will either hold us back or make us stronger. I have found that a lot of our stress is our reaction to our environment. If help (or advice) is going to be effective, we have to be ready to receive, otherwise no matter how wonderful it is, it will not be helpful to us. It may even make us feel worse.
I have been having a new lesson in stress and stress management that I have been experiencing during the last month.
My husband's Grandpa was involved in a car wreck last month. He sustained a bad neck injury which landed him in the ICU and later in a rehab center. As he is a widower, he depended greatly on my husband and father in law. Other family members have sacrificed much as well, but my husband has been one of the main caregivers. This has been a strain on our family. As a nurse I have maybe too much knowledge for my own good and more faith than my husband in the abilities of the care givers at these institutions. My ideas and beliefs and my husbands ideas and beliefs have been in direct opposition. I have been trying to be supportive, but on the inside, I was feeling great frustration...or great stress. It has been very hard for both of us. It is bad enough I am having one of my autoimmune flare-ups. However, during the past week, we have started worked together to discuss what I need, what my husband needs and what our family needs. Both of us are trying to compromise to find ways to meet those needs as best as we can. During the last couple of days, I feel like a huge load has been lifted off my shoulders, even though in reality the situation has not changed. What has changed is me. I have finally been able to let the stress and the negativity go.
What have I learned so far with this ongoing experience?

• No two people would deal with this in the same way
• Both of us can be right and yet be totally wrong
• I have a great need for communication and recognition
• Talking with friends can give temporary relief but it won't fix anything
• Feelings are not rational
• Forgiveness heals
• Change in perspective can make all the difference
• I cause most of my own stress. I have to voluntarily let go. It is possible to know what I need to do and yet not be able to do it immediately
• It all takes time...be patient
• No matter how patient we are or learn how to be, the more work I find I have to do in that area.
• Stress can have it's benefits depending upon what we do with it.
• My relationship with God grows by leaps and bounds when I am 'stressed out.'
• Stress can shape us for better or worse
• I can understand what other people go through because of my own experiences.

 I have a personal knowledge that life isn't just something that happens to us. My belief and knowledge in my Higher Power (God) helps me to put the experiences of life in perspective. I see my personal stress as a way He uses to shape me into the person I need and want to be. I am becoming a woman strong and beautiful in character and spirit because He loves me and knows what I can become. It helps me to connect with other people who are also in the process of becoming strong and beautiful. These realizations are helping me in my journey with stress and the hardships of life. It sounds so simple to just let it go and enjoy the ride. It is ever so much easier to say it than to do it.
My 2 bits: take a step back, analyze your stress and start the process of letting it go...it really is a process. If you have a belief in a Higher Power, work on that relationship. If you don't, take a good look at what you believe. Start where you are. And when your current stressful situation is over, enjoy the relief and pretty soon another one will pop up.
I love this Irish Blessing:
"May you have the hindsight to know where you've been
the foresight to know where you're going
and the insight to know when you're going too far."